Self-regulation (The second core of EI!) 

Definition revision: 

Controlling or redirecting disruptive emotions and moods 

The Story: 

Imagine an executive who has just watched a team of his employees present a wrong analysis to the company’s board of directors. In the gloom that follows, the executive might find himself tempted to pound on the table in anger or kick over a chair. He could leap up and scream at the group. Or he might maintain a grim silence, glaring at everyone before stalking off. 

But if he had a gift for self-regulation, he would choose a different approach. He would pick his words carefully, acknowledging the team’s poor performance without rushing to any hasty judgment. He would then step back to consider the reasons for the failure. Are they personal-a lack of effort? Are there any mitigating factors? What was his role in the debacle? After considering these questions, he would call the team together, lay out the incident’s consequences, and offer feelings about it. He would then present his analysis of the problem and a well-considered solution. 

WHY does self-regulation matter so much for leaders?? 

First of all, people who are in control of their feelings and impulses-that is people who are reasonable-are able to create an environment of trust and fairness. In such an environment, politics and infighting are sharply reduced and productivity is high. Talented people flock to the organisation and aren’t tempted to leave. And self-regulation has a trickle-down effect. No one wants to be known as a hothead when the boss is known for her calm approach. Fewer bad moods at the top mean fewer throughout the organisation. 

Second, self-regulation is important for competitive reasons. Everyone knows that business today is rife with ambiguity and change. Companies merge and break apart regularly. Technology transforms work at a dizzying pace. People who have mastered their emotions are able to roll with the changes. When a new program is announced, they don’t panic; instead, they are able to suspend judgment, seek out information, and listen to the executives as they explain the new program. 

Consider the case of a manager at a large manufacturing company. Like her colleagues, she had used a certain software program for five years. The program drove how she collected and reported data and how she thought about the company's strategy. One day, senior executives announced that a new program was to be installed that would radically change how information was gathered and assessed within the organisation. While many people in the company complained bitterly about how disruptive the change would be, the manager pondered over the reasons for the new program and was convinced of its potential to improve performance. She eagerly attended training sessions and was eventually promoted to run several divisions, in part because she used the new technology so effectively! 

Concluding thoughts: The signs of emotional self-regulation, therefore, are easy to see: a propensity for reflection and thoughtfulness; comfort with ambiguity and change; and integrity-an ability to say no to impulsive urges.
People with fiery temperaments are frequently thought of as "classic" leaders-their outbursts are considered hallmarks of charisma and power. But when such people make it to the top, their impulsiveness often works against them. In my research, extreme displays of negative emotion have never emerged as a driver of good leadership!

#myreflections #anideaaday #selfregulation #emotionalintelligence